Who knows how many hours of sleep I’ve lost trying to find the right words and reassess the situation from every single angle. I think I’ve written and deleted paragraphs over 20 times now. I will try and keep this as short as possible but you guys already know how verbose I can be.
These thoughts started to seed themselves very minorly in my head before we killed Blackhand as it was the most/hardest we ever raided, and that is one of the larger times when there started to be a divide in guild hours/capability/desire to raid etc. As that tier ended, and people voiced opinions, and we raided and concluded this tier, it had become clear to me that the large variance in the desire of hours raided was now a large divide between some people, myself being on one extreme of the spectrum.
I’ve been in Midwinter for 5 years now (I’m the second-most veteran member), since late WotLK, and since my joining in the guild I’ve been one of the (and at times the) largest advocate(s) of pushing harder, increasing hours, realizing a higher potential of the amazing team we have here. With bumps and bruises along the way this guild has grown into one of the biggest powerhouses in top-end PvE raiding and it is amazing. However, we’ve now reached a point where there is unfortunately now a large disconnect in my desire to go HAM af and the guild’s pace at which it will achieve its future rankings. I feel the need at this point in my raiding career to be able to raid with 20+ other individuals who can (or want) to share and dedicate that same amount of time until that final boss dies and push as hard as possible putting aside any obligation.
So while I wholeheartedly believe whatever the guild chooses to go with for raiding direction, it is not something I can participate in any longer. I love the people here and always will, but the suppressed feeling I have of wanting to push more has eaten away at me just too much, and if I were to go forward with it I would be doing the guild a disservice as likely my attitude and performance would start to show signs of deterioration. As a result my fun has just not been there as much, and has started to completely wane.
I wanted to wait until Midwinter finished a series of important guild meetings to go ahead with my decision as I wanted to hear every single person’s opinion and desire going forward, as this is what will shape the future of Midwinter. All of this has inevitably (for me) led to my decision that I will be retiring from Midwinter raiding and will be participating my MT duties over at Serenity, the large branch of Method now reformed (was actually Method when I made this post, but PvE IRL Cataclysm happened).
I, like anyone else who has retired from the guild (or anyone with half a brain), will still largely be present in the Midwinter community. I’ve made too many close friendships here to even consider disappearing.
I wish the guild the absolutely best in coming tiers, and will miss more things than I can mention here.
Much love to all of you and this guild that has been and will likely continue to be home in my heart for the past 5 years and many to come.
My options included joining another US guild or starting my own guild in the US. However the first option does not (currently) exist in the form of a hardcore 7-day progression guild currently, and the second option is something that is just too much work in my current time, as I’m still focusing on improving my stream, with various slooty emotes of course.
I’ve been in Midwinter through the thick and thin, when the guild almost disbanded, to it’s highest ranking ever for World 3rd in BRF. They will continue to rise and I have no doubt in my mind the guild is in excellent hands. I hope to be among the first to congratulate them on their incoming future achievements.
I now look forward to a prominent, successful, and most importantly fun raiding future with Serenity and the friends I’ve made and will be making there. Back to my European roots, see you in Legion!